Captain Monkey Pants (with his Captain's Hat Beard and Pipe)

Mulga, Captain Monkey Pants, Ink on Paper, 26 x 36 cm

An Ode to Captain Monkey Pants

This man I can recommend

You will want him as your friend

This man has a beard

This man is weird

He’s a captain with a pipe

He likes his bananas ripe

His hat is cool and he pity’s the fool

Who aint seen the world and when he rides a wave

He likes that cave when it’s perfectly curled

He travels the world in his ship with his crew and cat

He once saved a monkey king who was in a flap

The monkey king gave him a gift

As a reward for the lift

It was a pair of pants

They were magical

They were fantastical

They did not contain ants

They were full of power

And they bloomed like a flower

When the time was right

They helped solve any plight

The story of Captain Monkey Pants is truly amazing

He’s everyone’s favourite captain who’s a little crazy

Black Bananas Surf Club

Mulga, Black Bananas Surf Club, Ink on Art Paper,27 x 20 cm

This is the logo for the mythical Black Bananas Surf Club.
These guys were the baddest fruit crew east of the plantation.
They always carried a knife in each hand wherever they went and were not afraid to slice and dice when the occasion called for it.
They once sliced a mango so bad he had to be juiced.
They were also capable surfers who surfed the biggest waves around Banana Island.
Their surf boards were made of banana bread and they didn't wear any pants.

See you next time
- Mulga

Bombastic Beanie Man

Bombastic Beanie Man

Hello, look at me I’m the beanie man
I wear a beanie like only I can


Actually my name is Wally
And I push a trolley
Full of all my junk
It’s easier to push than a trunk


I sleep in the day 
And wander at night
It makes it less likely 
I’ll be stabbed by a knife


I got no shoes 
And I got the blues
I play the banjo 
And I love to snooze


I once walked five days straight
And saw an Indian rat snake
I did a double take and then ate a steak
But it was all a dream I realized when I did awake


My eyes will pierce you like a dagger
And my banjo will make you dance like Jagger


My coat is fantastic 
And my songs are bombastic
Some say I’m an iconoclastic 
Others say I’m just enthusiastic


I’m a mystery man
See me once
And you’ll never see me again
I am the super bombastic beanie man

See you next time
- Mulga

The One Armed Sushi Chef otherwise known as the Beard Man Wearing Headband with Anchor on it

The One Armed Sushi Chef

He has a beard
And a headband too
His anchor is geared
For wowing you

He's a sushi chef
Of the highest order
His name is Jeff
He abhors disorder

He's the fastest slicer
In the land
He doesn't use a ricer
He has one hand

He's an Iron Chef
On that SBS cooking show
He killed the ref
With one blow

The decision was wrong
Or so he thought
And because he didn't win
He killed the lot

You'll find him now
In his little sushi shop
Forget to pay the bill
And you'll get the chop

See you next time
-Mulga

Beardo the Weirdo

Here is Beardo the Weirdo. 

He is a zombie. 

My good friend Stuart wrote a poem to accompany the picture. 

We hope you enjoy.

Mutant Cowboy Zombie

The Tale of the Mutant Cowboy Zombie


After the heist on the bank

They shot old hank

Left him to die and stole his take

Only he didn't die

He turned into a pie

The sun baked him good

Like only the sun could

His flavor was chicken and curry

But he was in no hurry

Got bit by some a freaky  wolves

Turned into a mutant with big hoofs

He galloped around

Then a flood came and he nearly drowned

But he gained the power of ten thousand suns

And set off to track down those bums

Those double crossing cowards

Weazly pickers of flowers

He found them in the saloon of a desert town

Drunk as skunks and acting the clown

They had looks of fear

When they saw his mutant lear

And his disfigurement ever so severe

His chicken curry skin glistened in the light 

As he reached for his shooter with his hand on the right

His aim was perfect and shot them all three

With but one bullet that buzzed like a bee

After that he took a drink

And sat down for little think

What kind of life is this for a mutant freak

With a chicken curry face and hooves for feet

So he joined the circus and he was a success

The moral of the story is to be your freakiest best

The End

See you next time
-Mulga